Everyone is looking for the ideal relationship. We are constantly receiving messages about what our love life should look like. We’ve created ideal expectations, and we’re disappointed when we don’t fulfill those expectations.
The reality is unlikely the perfect love stories portrayed in the movies. So you may be asking what you can look for in an intimate relationship; and how to know if your relationship is healthy or not?
It is key to know what to hope for in a relationship so you don’t expect unrealistic things from the beginning. Every healthy relationship must have trust, respect, communication, and honesty.
1. Be clear about what you expect in your intimate relationship
There is a famous quote that says:
“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”
This is wrong, especially in your intimate relationship. If you don’t know what you want, how would your partner know how to treat you?
If you are the type of people who has low expectations you could end up in a relationship where you’re treated poorly.
You have to be clear about what you expect in your intimate relationship. By having high and realistic expectations you have a good possibility to achieve the kind of love life you desire.
You should expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. And should never tolerate any type of abuse.
By expecting these things, you aren’t being unrealistic nor are you expecting that your relationship is free of arguments. Arguing (or rather conscious disagreements) with your partner are not a bad thing! This it is a great way to solve problems and improve your understanding. The truth is that all relationships will have disagreements and this is not a red flag unless it’s excessive, disrespectful or violent.
2. Understand that communication in a relationship is one of the keys to success
The key to success in a relationship is to have good communication with your partner this is the first step for a healthy relationship. As I mentioned before all couples argue, but if you have high-quality communication you will be able to solve the conflict easier and build a well-built relationship.
The best way to have good communication is to talk clearly without anger, resentment or confusion.
It is important to show empathy to your partner by listening without judgment, and putting aside your feelings and thoughts to try to understand their point of view.
Finally, it’s Ok not to agree to everything, if the issue is not that important it’s alright to let it go. Learn to negotiate. If you want a long, healthy relationship you need to use develop and implement good conflict resolution skills.
3. Do your part to make your intimate relationship for satisfying
If you want a more satisfying, loving relationship there are things you can do to help out. A great way to improve your intimate relationship is to know exactly what your partner wants and cares about. If you can respect their boundaries you will create an amazing synergy and connection — both physical and emotion.
Don’t be afraid to try new things. Get out of the box. Yes, I know you feel safe in your box, but trying new things can bring you closer. Experiment with alternative things without judging, you may like it.
If you are willing to try new things you will open your mind, build stronger bonds with your partner, and increase your overall satisfaction.
Conclusion
Having unrealistic expectations can interfere with your intimate relationship. To improve this you should have to be clear about what you want, communicate in a clear way to avoid any misunderstandings, and finally do your part to make your intimate relationship more satisfying.
Having a healthy relationship is all about how you and your partner connected, versus a number. So don’t compare your loving relationship with others.
The more emotionally connected you are the more you will be able to enjoy a satisfying intimate relationship. Don’t expect that your relationship will always be easy, and free of conflict if you do you will be disappointed.
If you feel that you and your partner need to improve your intimate relationship, schedule a few sessions with me so we can build a stronger more intimate relationship.
Schedule an Appointment for a Relationship Coaching Session Today!
Other blog posts of interest
♦ 3 Steps to Getting Unstuck
♦ How Are You Finding Your Bliss?
♦ What to Expect: When Working With A Professional Life Coach
♦ 7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea
♦ 5 Ways Self-Sabotage Is Stopping You From Reaching Your Goals
Your free, flexible, mobile and loving life. That’s how many adult professionals who don’t have kids are seen by single parents. As a non-parent, it’s true that you likely don’t have certain demands on your time. Other than work and commitments you choose to dedicate your time to, your time is likely your own. Now if you have a caregiver role or something else that’s a major responsibility in your life, then you understand
Communication is key in any relationship, but especially when there are other major factors that will impact that relationship. In this case, I’m talking about the time commitment of the partner who has kids. When I’m hired as a dating coach, one thing my clients come to understand is the need to get important questions answered early. Some of those questions include:
These questions may seem forward but guess what, asking them early on in dating will allow you to make a better decision about whether to continue dating the person with kids or not. Truth is most single or parents who share custody really don’t think about these things.
There is no “one size fits all” answer to this question, especially since in the scenario where a person is dating someone with kids, they will likely be a bit more impacted if the woman is the one who has a child or children. The reason for this is simple. In my experience as a professional life coach, I’ve noticed that women are usually the primary caregiver in single-parent scenarios. If you are a person who likes a woman who has the responsibilities of a child or children, be prepared to have certain limits on time and location for dating. What I mean is there will be times when she is simply not available. Especially if she is the custodial parent. Also, recognize there will probably need to be extensive planning for any quick getaways or romantic vacations. She likely just can’t leave work on Friday and catch a flight somewhere with you. She has responsibilities that are far more important than you and that’s something you need to understand upfront.
If you’re the non-parent in the scenario of dating someone with kids, and the relationship is going very well over several months (at least), you’re going to be faced with meeting the child or children of your sweetie. While dating someone with kids can be awesome, this is something that many of my clients have come to me with tons of anxiety! If the relationship has been going well, you should have a fairly clear idea about some of the following characteristics of your girlfriend’s kid or kids:
Whatever you chose, in my experience as a professional life coach, neutral territory is usually the best. Come in separate cars and leave in separate cars from a location that is not their home with their mom. This isn’t an absolute rule but what I’ve seen is this approach gives the kids some space and comfort as well. After whatever activity you all decided to do together, the kid or kids can talk to their mom on the ride home about their thoughts about you. On the same token, whether the ‘meet and greet’ went good or bad, you riding home in your own car gives you time to process as well before the next time you talk to your girlfriend. Some feelings you want to be very aware of include:
Similar to dating a woman who has kids, there is no “one size fits all” answer to this question. When clients contact me to hire a dating coach, their situations can run the gambit of the guy sounds like he is totally worth it to dump his ass yesterday! But seriously, the dynamics of the man and his child (or children) are very important when it comes to the right choice for you. You also must consider how big or small of a role you want to play in the lives of the children if the relationship gets serious. Dating someone with kids is hard but only you can weigh the pros and cons of your particular situation.
This may sound harsh but the reality is the guy you’re dating decided to marry and have kids or just have kids with the person he did. If he calls her “crazy”, that’s a cop-out. She is the same person she has always been, he’s just now willingly seeing the characteristics of her personality that the people around him were probably trying to tell him about far before he had kids with her. So if she’s “crazy” and the kids are a mess, that’s his problem, not yours. Save your time, heart and sanity and get out of any situation like this asap!
Dating someone with kids can be fabulous or it can be a total waste of time. It all depends on the attitude you go into the relationship with as well as the person (and their situation) you’re dating. Either way, you need to be very honest with yourself before even considering getting involved in this type of dating. Parents have responsibilities and obligations that, if you’re a non-parent, you may not understand.
Break-ups are tough and often they really disrupt your life. Whether you were planning ‘happily ever after’ with your former sweetie or not, getting used to that other person not being around can be hard. I often work with clients who are at the crossroads of letting go and clinging to what once was. This blog post focuses on some of the same steps I focus on during coaching sessions to help clients achieve success after a break-up.
No matter the type of relationship you had, the beginning of rebuilding yourself after a breakup begins with clearing out the clutter. Physical reminders of the other person can be constant torture. Give yourself 4 to 6 weeks to get through this phase.
This second step should be happening simultaneously with the first. While you are donating those clothes that your ex left, you should also be taking time to reflect on the relationship.
Taking care of yourself needs to be a priority. If you haven’t been engaged in routines and rituals that boost, balance, and rejuvenate you, then now is the time to start. Don’t let the term “self-care” scare you. It doesn’t have to be complex.
You’ve cleared the clutter. You’ve reflected on your last relationship. You’ve created doable and fun self-care rituals for yourself. What next? Not it’s time for you to get back in the dating game! You’re at a good space mentally and emotionally and it’s time to find a great partner. The way you decide to get back into dating is up to you. Online, mobile, in person, blind dates, hookups through friends, etc .
If you’re in any kind of serious intimate relationship, then this should be a given. Do you have physical, social, environmental, political, or other general activities that are important to you? Do you have a secret passion that you want to pursue a new activity that you want to try? If your answer is yes to either question then your answer should also be yes to the question around whether your partner knows, understands, and respects these things about you!
Let’s face it, intimate relationships are hard. They bring out the best and the worst in us all. However, if you want an intimate relationship that actually lasts, you have to know how to effectively communicate in all situations. Based upon working with my clients, here’s what doesn’t work in times of conflict:
Now on to the touchiest subjects of all when it comes to intimate relationships…physical intimacy. 
