Tag: intimate relationships

How to Manage the Expectations vs. Reality in Intimate Relationship

~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

intimate relationships - expectations vs. realityEveryone is looking for the ideal relationship. We are constantly receiving messages about what our love life should look like. We’ve created ideal expectations, and we’re disappointed when we don’t fulfill those expectations.

The reality is unlikely the perfect love stories portrayed in the movies. So you may be asking what you can look for in an intimate relationship; and how to know if your relationship is healthy or not?

It is key to know what to hope for in a relationship so you don’t expect unrealistic things from the beginning. Every healthy relationship must have trust, respect, communication, and honesty.

1. Be clear about what you expect in your intimate relationship

There is a famous quote that says:

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

This is wrong, especially in your intimate relationship. If you don’t know what you want, how would your partner know how to treat you?

If you are the type of people who has low expectations you could end up in a relationship where you’re treated poorly.

You have to be clear about what you expect in your intimate relationship. By having high and realistic expectations you have a good possibility to achieve the kind of love life you desire.

You should expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. And should never tolerate any type of abuse.

By expecting these things, you aren’t being unrealistic nor are you expecting that your relationship is free of arguments. Arguing (or rather conscious disagreements) with your partner are not a bad thing!  This it is a great way to solve problems and improve your understanding. The truth is that all relationships will have disagreements and this is not a red flag unless it’s excessive, disrespectful or violent.

2. Understand that communication in a relationship is one of the keys to success

The key to success in a relationship is to have good communication with your partner this is the first step for a healthy relationship. As I mentioned before all couples argue, but if you have high-quality communication you will be able to solve the conflict easier and build a well-built relationship.

The best way to have good communication is to talk clearly without anger, resentment or confusion.

It is important to show empathy to your partner by listening without judgment, and putting aside your feelings and thoughts to try to understand their point of view.

Finally, it’s Ok not to agree to everything, if the issue is not that important it’s alright to let it go. Learn to negotiate. If you want a long, healthy relationship you need to use develop and implement good conflict resolution skills.

3. Do your part to make your intimate relationship for satisfying

If you want a more satisfying, loving relationship there are things you can do to help out.  A great way to improve your intimate relationship is to know exactly what your partner wants and cares about. If you can respect their boundaries you will create an amazing synergy and connection — both physical and emotion.

Don’t be afraid to try new things. Get out of the box. Yes, I know you feel safe in your box, but trying new things can bring you closer. Experiment with alternative things without judging, you may like it.

If you are willing to try new things you will open your mind, build stronger bonds with your partner, and increase your overall satisfaction.

Conclusion

Having unrealistic expectations can interfere with your intimate relationship. To improve this you should have to be clear about what you want, communicate in a clear way to avoid any misunderstandings, and finally do your part to make your intimate relationship more satisfying.

Having a healthy relationship is all about how you and your partner connected, versus a number. So don’t compare your loving relationship with others.
The more emotionally connected you are the more you will be able to enjoy a satisfying intimate relationship. Don’t expect that your relationship will always be easy, and free of conflict if you do you will be disappointed.

If you feel that you and your partner need to improve your intimate relationship, schedule a few sessions with me so we can build a stronger more intimate relationship.

Schedule an Appointment for a Relationship Coaching Session Today!

Other blog posts of interest

♦ 3 Steps to Getting Unstuck
♦ How Are You Finding Your Bliss?
♦ What to Expect: When Working With A Professional Life Coach
♦ 7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea
♦ 5 Ways Self-Sabotage Is Stopping You From Reaching Your Goals

How To Be Successful After A Break-up

~ viewslifecoaching ~ 1 Comment

how to be successful after a break-upBreak-ups are tough and often they really disrupt your life.  Whether you were planning ‘happily ever after’ with your former sweetie or not, getting used to that other person not being around can be hard.  I often work with clients who are at the crossroads of letting go and clinging to what once was.  This blog post focuses on some of the same steps I focus on during coaching sessions to help clients achieve success after a break-up.

1. Clear out your space

clear out the clutter -success after a break-upNo matter the type of relationship you had, the beginning of rebuilding yourself after a breakup begins with clearing out the clutter.  Physical reminders of the other person can be constant torture.  Give yourself 4 to 6 weeks to get through this phase.

No, I’m not asking you to clear out your house in a day.  But you should also not be dwelling on your ex 6 months from now.  4 to 6 weeks is enough time to slowly but consistently clear out anything left behind from your ex.

  • Clothes from your ex?  Donate them.
  • Shared furniture that was left behind? Donate it.
  • Old photos? Burn them! (just kidding…sort of)

On a side note, if you and your ex have things you want to return to one another, be civil about it.  Meet in daytime hours only.  If you two don’t trust or want to be alone during exchanges of stuff, ask a mutual, trustworthy friend to be there as well.  Success after a break-up means handling any required exchanges as quickly and civilly as possible!

♦ Has it been four to six weeks and you’re still having trouble moving on?  Then working with a professional life coach will help.  Schedule a few sessions with me today so we can move you past your last relationship!

Here are some books that may also be useful in clearing out the clutter from your ex:

2. Step back & reflect

step back reflect - success after a break-upThis second step should be happening simultaneously with the first.  While you are donating those clothes that your ex left, you should also be taking time to reflect on the relationship.

Reflect, don’t dwell. 

What reflection means is to take a non-judgemental look back at the relationship.  The ups, the downs, the things that totally went sideways, and the things that totally turned out to be awesome.  There were good times and bad.  Being a success after a break-up means you’ve taken all of those reflections to see what you’ve learned.  Keeping a journal at this time is also useful.

Reflection is a powerful tool that creates future insight Share on X

At the end of the day, you learned something from that relationship.  Get clear about what you’ve learned.  What did you learn about yourself?  What did you learn about the characteristics you want in your next partner?  What characteristics did you learn that you don’t want in your next partner?  Reflection is a powerful tool that creates future insight.  Getting clear will help guide you in your future relationships.

♦ Reflections not working?  Do you find yourself dwelling on that past relationship?  Don’t fret!  Schedule a few coaching sessions with me, a professional life coach, to achieve a very positive outcome from a negative situation.

Here are some books about learning and reflecting after a breakup that some of my clients have found useful are:

3. Develop & implement a self-care routine

self-care routine - success after a break-upTaking care of yourself needs to be a priority.  If you haven’t been engaged in routines and rituals that boost, balance, and rejuvenate you, then now is the time to start.  Don’t let the term “self-care” scare you.  It doesn’t have to be complex.

For example one of my clients was struggling after a recent break-up and the subject of self-care came up.  When all was said and done, she decided that taking a long bubble bath on Friday nights would help her relax and ease into the weekend.  A weekly bubble bath is what she chose as her first activity in her self-care routine.  Now it’s your turn. List 3 to 5 things that you can do on a weekly basis to balance, relax, boost, or rejuvenate yourself.  Here are some ideas:

  • Yoga
  • Prayer
  • Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Journaling
  • Going to the spa
  • Taking long baths
  • Working on a hobby
  • Spending time in nature
  • Listening to soothing music at the end of the day
  • Drinking tea or coffee while watching the sunrise or sunset

♦ Developing a useful self-care routine can be challenging.  Working with a professional life coach is useful in helping you to do just that!  Book sessions with me today in order to figure out how to develop the self-care routines that’ll work best for you.

If you still need some inspiration, here are some books I think would be useful:

4. Get back in the game

get back in the game - success after a break-upYou’ve cleared the clutter.  You’ve reflected on your last relationship.  You’ve created doable and fun self-care rituals for yourself.  What next?  Not it’s time for you to get back in the dating game!  You’re at a good space mentally and emotionally and it’s time to find a great partner.  The way you decide to get back into dating is up to you.  Online, mobile, in person, blind dates, hookups through friends, etc .

Don't spend time on dating anyone who drains your energy or emotions. Share on X

Whatever ways you choose should be the best for you.  Make sure at all times you are being mindful of your emotions and your energy when dating.  If anyone drains your energy or takes a toll on your emotions to deal with, delete their number, block them from your phone and move on!  You are too important to be spending your time, emotions, and energy on anyone who is not of equal awesomeness to you.

♦ Struggling to get back into the dating game?  Then schedule a few sessions with me so we can create a plan for success for your upcoming adventures in dating!

Here are some books to boost your confidence in dating:

Conclusion

Success after a break-up largely depends upon the steps you take immediately after you part ways.  If nothing else, you know you should:

  1. Clear out your space
  2. Step back & reflect
  3. Develop & implement a self-care routine
  4. Get back into the game

So how are you doing with rebounding after your break up?  Comment below!  Don’t forget to like, subscribe and share too!

Other blog posts of interest:

♦ Are You A Hot Mess At Dating?!
♦ How Are You Finding Your Bliss?
♦ 5 Tips for Successful Online Dating
♦ 7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea
♦ Dating Around: Controversial Reasons Why He is NOT Calling You Back! (For Women Only)

Open Communication In Intimate Relationships

~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

communication - intimate relationships

You’re angry, frustrated, and don’t know what to say next!

Does this sound like you in your intimate relationships?  You’re not alone.  I work with many of my coaching clients around their frustration in communication with their partner.  Whether you’re dating, married, in a long term relationship, cohabitating, in an open relationship, etc.  you must understand that communication is key if you expect that intimate relationship to work!

Below are a few tips that I’ve learned from working with clients around communication in their intimate relationships.  Take these tips to heart and understand how you can apply them in your relationship asap.

Communication in Intimate Relationships Tip #1: Let your partner know what’s important to you

communication - intimate relationships1If you’re in any kind of serious intimate relationship, then this should be a given.  Do you have physical, social, environmental, political, or other general activities that are important to you?  Do you have a secret passion that you want to pursue a new activity that you want to try?  If your answer is yes to either question then your answer should also be yes to the question around whether your partner knows, understands, and respects these things about you!

Any interest that's important to you should be known, understood, and respected by your intimate partner Share on X

Many people don’t take the time to have these discussions when they get into intimate relationships and that is not a good idea.  Speak openly and be honest.  Aside from the important things, does your partner know the things about you that make you…you?!  Such as your favorite color, your favorite teacher from elementary, the first boy you kissed, your major in college.  If they don’t know these things, ask yourself how open is the communication in your relationship.

♦ Want to be a better communicator in your intimate relationship?  Then book a few sessions for relationship coaching with me today!

Some books clients have found helpful around open communication in intimate relationships are:

Communication in Intimate Relationships Tip #2: Learn to have fruitful conversations…in love and war

communication - intimate relationships2Let’s face it, intimate relationships are hard.  They bring out the best and the worst in us all.  However, if you want an intimate relationship that actually lasts, you have to know how to effectively communicate in all situations.  Based upon working with my clients, here’s what doesn’t work in times of conflict:

  • screaming and yelling,
  • sarcasm and insults,
  • pouting and sulking, and
  • the silent treatment

If you’ve done any of that stuff in the past, then you know it doesn’t work.  If you want to communicate effectively in intimate relationships, that means you’re going to need some new tools.  You have to learn how to communicate with fact and not just feeling.

Open communication in intimate relationships is most successful when the well-being of you and your partner is a consideration. Share on X

Also, learn how to have discussions around more sensitive (or potentially explosive topics) when you and your partner are both well rested.  Talking about touchy subjects when either of you is tired, irritable or stressed about other things is a recipe for disaster.  Open communication in intimate relationships is most successful when the well-being of you and your partner is a consideration.

♦ Do you need lessons on mindfulness and how to fight fair in intimate relationships?  Then working with a relationship coach can help.  Book your sessions today!

Some interesting books around how to communicate well in both love and war (in a relationship) are:

Communication in Intimate Relationships Tip #3: Be open in discussions with your partner about what you do and don’t like in the bedroom

communication - intimate relationships3Now on to the touchiest subjects of all when it comes to intimate relationships…physical intimacy.  Sex is an important aspect of any intimate relationship.  The level of importance varies for each couple.  However, it is an important part of bonding, communicating, and reaffirming your connection to your partner.  Being that sex is such an important part of an intimate relationship, ask yourself if you’re being open, honest and satisfied in yours.

What you do or don't discuss with your partner about your sex life will have a direct impact on how good or bad it is! Share on X

From working with clients I’ve seen more resentment and anger in relationships being rooted in lack of communication around sex more than anything!  If you’re not happy or satisfied, then you need to say something.  What you do or don’t discuss with your partner about your sex life will have a direct impact on how good or bad it is!   How you say it and what you say is what will make the difference in your partner listening to you or completely shutting down on you.

♦ Are you at a loss about how to start the conversation with your partner about your sex life?  Then working with a relationship coach can help you figure out exactly what to say!  Book your sessions today!

Some books that may help you talk about sex in your intimate relationship are:

Conclusion

Communication is the key to success in any relationship.  This is especially true in an intimate relationship.  Is your answer “yes” to the following three statements:

  1. My partner knows the things that are important to me
  2. My partner and I have good communication when things are good or bad
  3. My partner satisfies me sexually

If your answer is no to any of these questions, take note!  For a relationship to grow and last communication is important.  This means you need to start taking action today to improve communication with your partner asap!

Like, comment, share, & subscribe!

Other blog posts of interest:

♦ Are You A Hot Mess At Dating?!
♦ Importance of Sex in A Relationship
♦ The Secret To Creating A Lasting Morning Workout Routine
♦ 7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea
♦ Dating Around: Controversial Reasons Why He is NOT Calling You Back! (For Women Only)

7 Reasons Women Are NOT Calling You Back (For Men Only)

~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

intimate relationships - for men only

A really cool part about working as a life coach is getting to hear and engage in conversations about relationships.

The good, the bad and the ugly!

Let’s face it, intimate relationships are hard. That’s why people hire dating and relationship coaches to help them get clear about what they do and don’t want. Over the past few months, I’ve noticed some recurring themes in the dating struggles of many of my female clients.

Below are some of those themes and insights I think every guy should know if the women he likes are not calling him back.

1. Too focused on sex too soon

Sex is an important part of an adult intimate relationship. Share on X

Sex is an important part of an adult intimate relationship. There’s no question about that! However, men need to understand that, in general, women are wired differently than them on this subject. Some women want love before sex but from my experience, all women want some level of trust to be established before choosing to have sex in intimate relationships.

Lesson learned: Focus on developing good communication and trust before worrying about getting a woman in bed.

2. Too much baggage from past intimate relationships

Are you that guy? You know the one I’m talking about. On a first date that story you thought would be charming to tell turns into a vent session full of bitterness towards your ex.

This is something coaching clients tell me about often.

Make peace with your past intimate relationships before getting into a new intimate relationship Share on X

If you’re this guy, stop doing this immediately!

Stop dating for now.

Do some self-reflection and healing.

Get to a place where you’re no longer angry, bitter, or have negative feelings about your ex. Depending upon the length of the relationship and what happened during the relationship will determine how long it will take a person to heal & get past that relationship.

Lesson learned: Make peace with your past intimate relationships before getting into a new intimate relationship

3. Caught in a lie on the first date (a.k.a lacks integrity)

Imagine you’re out at a wonderful dinner with the woman you thought was attractive at the coffee shop.  You two begin to talk about interests, etc.  When she asks “oh have you ever been to {insert exotic location here}”?, instead of being honest and saying “no”, you go off on a tangent about something that you think you know about that location based upon what you saw on t.v.

If you're lying on the first date, this is not a good sign of things to come. Share on X

You are so wrapped up in the story you’re telling, you fail to notice the slight dip in your date’s smile.  However, what you really failed to see is that you just dropped way down on her list of prospects. You’re already lying on the first date!  This is not a good sign of things to come.

Lesson learned: Be honest about your experiences!  If a particular question or subject makes you uncomfortable, just say so (Remember: Discussing religion and politics on a first date is an absolute no!).  Don’t lie.

4. Too shallow

intimate relationships - too shallowWhat I’ve learned from my coaching clients is, that when they are ready for genuine mature intimate relationships, the appearance that a man is too shallow is an absolute turnoff.

Imagine this happening – you and the very fit, attractive woman at the gym hit it off one day and after flirting for a bit you ask her out on a date.  You arrive on time.  Pick the right restaurant. Both of you seem to be enjoying the atmosphere and the conversation.  That is until you launch into your schpill on fitness and being “in shape”.  You happen to say some nasty or just unbecoming things about people who aren’t fit and you’re so caught up in your speech you don’t notice that your lovely date has completely emotionally shut down on you! Don’t let that smile fool you!

Don't come off as too shallow on your first date! Be sure to not focus too much on physical characteristics! Share on X

What you have inadvertently done is to let her know that you are shallow and only worried about looks!  What if she’s fit now but struggled with her weight at some point in her life?  What if she has a close friend who is struggling with her weight? What if…a million other things?!  You don’t know because you have effectively put your foot in your mouth and stated that a person who is not your idea of physical fitness is bad.

Way to go champ!  You have completely lost the chance at a second date.  Better luck next time.

Lesson learned: Physical appearance and attractiveness are important to most people.  That’s life!  However never be so focused on the physical that you come off as shallow, snobbish or insensitive.  Those are characteristics that very few (if any) are looking for in a serious intimate relationship.

5. Comes off as selfish & self-centered

Though your mother may have raised you to believe differently, know that the whole world doesn’t revolve around you!  If you go out on a date with someone, know that the conversation needs to be like a game of tennis…back and forth. There should be equal “air time” in the conversation.

Selfishness and self-centeredness is a no-no in any relationship but especially on a first date! Share on X

Lesson learned: Don’t dominate the conversation!  Also, don’t make all talk about how great you are, how much you’ve accomplished, etc.  Speak about interests, dreams, etc.

6. Don’t have a good relationship with your family

A red flag when I work with clients for dating and relationships coaching is when a client talks about how negative or nonexistent conversation about their potential beau’s family tends to be.  Since I only work with adults, this is something that I find startling.  If a person has had a bad or negative childhood, they need to make the decision to get the proper counseling to overcome it.  I’m not saying everything is going to be perfect.  What I’m saying is that you need to make sure you have your mind and emotions in a place of peace about your own family before getting into a serious intimate relationship with someone else.

Get your mind and emotions in a good place about your own family before you try to build one with someone else. Share on X

Just think.

You’re trying to go down the path of potentially building that with someone else.  So what makes you a great catch if you have a bad relationship with the family you already have?!

Lesson learned: Get your mind and emotions in a good place about your own family before you try to build one with someone else.

7. Come off as lazy or has a lack of ambition

Lack of ambition is an unattractive characteristic in a potential intimate partner. Share on X

Lack of ambition is one of the most unattractive characteristics I hear about in coaching sessions with my clients when it comes to first dates.

Be sure that you’re not the man that we’re discussing!

Men this means that when a woman asks about your short-term and long-term goals, actually have answers to these questions.  Shrugging and giving vague answers is kind of unacceptable for an adult man seeking to become a part of a serious intimate relationship.

Lesson learned: Have goals!  Have plans!  Be sure to make it apart of the conversation.  Laziness is not attractive when anyone is seeking to be involved in a serious intimate relationship.

So those are the seven reasons women aren’t calling you back.  Do any of these reasons resonate with you?  If not, what are some reasons that you believe that women haven’t gone out with you on a second date?

Like, comment, subscribe & share!

Other posts that may be of interest:

♦ Dating After 30
♦ Dating Around: Controversial Reasons Why He is NOT Calling You Back! (For Women Only)
♦ 7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea
♦ Are You A Hot Mess At Dating?!
♦ Bold First Date Questions That Need To Be Asked

7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea

~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

7 (1)

 

Many people say they want it, but do they really?

I’m talking about…the big “M” word...Marriage

Between all of the princess movies and fairy tales heard countless times growing up, to the sappy romcoms that fill many people’s watch lists on streaming television, many women (and some men) have it imprinted on their psyche from a young age that marriage is the answer.  To be fair, marriage is the ultimate intimate relationship.  However, it’s not the end all to be all. 

Many of my current clients grew up secretly (and some not so secretly) wanting that wonderful prince to sweep them off of their feet. That’s the main reason they decide to hire a relationship coach. With that being said there are many situations I’ve come across with clients that have allowed me to pinpoint the 7 things that I hear most often that are a signal they probably aren’t ready for marriage and their communication in relationships needs serious work.

1. Communication in relationships is a challenge

communication in intimate relationships

  • Does shutting down happen often when frustrated?
  • Are silence, avoidance and the infamous “cold shoulder” go-to behaviors for handling conflict?
  • Is spazzing out a part of how anger is handled?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then chances are a person may not be ready for marriage.  The importance of communication in relationships cannot be underestimated.   If a client finds themselves struggling with proper and effective communication in relationships, then they need to take the steps to work on it.

No one else can make them a better communicator and it won’t just “happen”.  The decision to hire a relationship coach will help a client become aware of any relationship sabotaging patterns that they have.

During their relationship coaching sessions, a client will also work with the coach to come up with effective strategies to address those patterns (Hint: have no fear of being the uncoachable client). Remember, communication is key in any relationship but especially in the context of an intimate relationship where one person is sharing their space, body, food, finances, and ultimately future with another person.

Some books of interest include:

2. Compromise in intimate relationships seems like defeat

First of all, if a client looks at intimate relationships like a chess match, then they are bound to lose.  Compromise in relationships is an important part of any adult relationship period, not just in marriage.

It always baffles me how clients are so open to healthy compromise in work, family, and friendships, but as soon as we start discussing compromise in the context of intimate relationships, they shut down!

Appropriate compromise in relationships is healthy and necessary. Share on X

I usually have to talk clients off the ledge a bit with this one.  I explain that they are an adult with their own thoughts, feelings, and outlooks.  In their intimate relationship, they are trying to come to a harmonious conclusion with another adult who has their own thoughts, feelings, and outlooks.  Inevitably they’re not going to always agree.

Having hesitation and doubts when it comes to compromise usually comes from past hurts.  Often those hurts need to be addressed during coaching sessions so a client can let all of that go.  Marriage can truly be an uphill battle for those who struggle or refuse to compromise.

If this resonates on any level, journal it.  Next, meditate on what the perfect relationship looks like.  Let those feelings out about why compromising in relationships is hard (or scary, etc.).  What does the interaction look like in a perfect relationship?

3. Have a belief that the person who makes the most money makes the rules

breadwinner in intimate relationshipsWe have all heard the saying “he (she) who makes the gold, makes the rules”.

This does apply to many areas of life but one area that it should not apply to is in a marriage.  Healthy intimate relationships need to be built on mutual love, respect, and trust.  In marriages where there is only one partner working or one partner is clearly the breadwinner, this should not be used as a reason for treating the other partner as a lesser contributor to the relationship.  Communication in relationships about money, support, and contribution are necessary for success.  I definitely recommend that you hire a relationship coach if you have issues around money, intimacy, and communication in relationships. 

4. Long term commitment is a new frontier

Not to say that every person has had lots of long-term relationships before marriage, but if a client is over 30 and has not been in a long-term committed intimate relationship, we definitely dig deeper.  Learning the importance and the how of communication in relationships will keep you from repeatedly stumbling and failing.

There may be deep-rooted resistance, fear or anxiety around intimate relationships that have not been addressed.  Deciding to hire a relationship coach will give a person the time and safe space to explore this further.

5. Lingering intimacy issues from past intimate relationships

lingering issues intimate relationships

(This is similar to 4. above but not exactly.)

We all have issues. That’s just part of what makes us human.  However, for the purposes of this blog post, I’m talking about those deep fear of intimacy issues that stem from past negative experiences in intimate relationships.   These issues prevent a person from fully connecting (mentally, physically, or emotionally) with another.  If there is resonance with this subject, then a person’s issues could run the gambit of manageable enough for a professional coach to assist to severe enough for the assistance of a therapist or counselor to be required.

♦For more insights about dating, also read: Are You A Hot Mess At Dating?!

6. Severe indecision about having children

Now, this is not an absolute dealbreaker, but if a person has serious indecision or opposition with their partner about kids…then marriage may not be for them.  The reason is simple.  Kids take up a huge chunk of time, money, and emotion.  If a person is strictly on the opposing side from their partner on the subject, then having (or not having) kids can cause a serious rift in the relationship.  When I coach on this topic, I make sure that the client reaches clarity around their decision.

7. The desire for marriage is wrapped up in what others are doing or expect

intimate relationships others expectations

Marriage is a serious commitment. So if a person is on edge to get married because of other people’s expectation or experience, that’s a definite red flag.  Similar to understanding thoughts and feelings around children, I work with clients so they can gain clarity around why they want to get married.  If it comes out during a session that it’s because of what someone else wants or what they see other people doing, we stop and do some deep reflection. Questions I ask include:

  • What’s the end goal?
  • What’s driving the desire to be married?
  • How will that commitment look once it’s entered into?

Here are some books that I think can help give any singleton great perspective:

Conclusion:

Marriage is the ultimate commitment but communication in relationships of every kind is important.  You need to understand that any serious intimate relationship takes the right:

  • mindset
  • attitude
  • willingness to do the hard work

on the part of all participants.  SO…be honest with yourself.  Determine if now is the right time for you to be in an intimate relationship.  If the answer is no, fix your s&*t and take the steps you need to take to get in the right place to be in such a relationship.  Remember, you don’t have to do this work alone!  Hire a relationship coach and the two of you can effectively partner to create some very dynamic changes to assist in your communication in relationships.

Schedule Appointment

Like, comment, share and subscribe below!

Other posts that might be of interest:

♦ Are You A Hot Mess At Dating?!
♦ Importance of Sex in A Relationship
♦ 5 Tips for Successful Online Dating
♦ Bold First Date Questions That NEED To Be Asked
♦ 7 Reasons Women Are NOT Calling You Back (For Men Only)
♦ Dating Around: Controversial Reasons Why He is NOT Calling You Back! (For Women Only)