What is a Discovery Session?

January 11, 2021January 3, 2021 ~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

Are you ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery? Want to take the next step to create a better sense of well-being? You’re in the right place.

I want to talk to you today about how you can reframe your mindset, boost your self-esteem, and work your way towards self-fulfillment. It might sound too good to be accurate, but if you stick with me, I’ll help you understand how easy it can kickstart your journey.

Let’s Talk Self-Fulfilment

So, why do we talk so much about self-fulfillment? What exactly is it that we’re trying to attain? When people talk about reaching a high level of personal growth, they’re talking about emotional evolution. It’s deemed highly desirable to attain a positive mindset, react rather than attack, and shift your perspective to make life better.

Self-fulfillment is simply the culmination of all of these factors. The path to complete self-growth is not easy, but it’s not complicated either. As with any problem, there is an available solution, and there are tools you can use to achieve it.

I’m going to tell you about some of these tools now.

Your Free Discovery Session with a Life Coach

If you’re confused about what a life coach does and how they can help you, keep reading. A life coach is a trained professional who can teach you to retrain your brain, shift your perspective, and work on any other goals you may have.

Think of a life coach like a sports coach. A good sports coach studies the field, his team, the opponents, and then puts all these things together to create a strategy that will help you win the game. Any good coach must be an expert in their work line because they can’t help you if they don’t have prior experience.

The sports metaphor is a good one and applies to how I approach life coaching. The first thing I like to do is to urge my clients to book a free discovery session with me. During this session, we have an initial call where I introduce myself, talk about what I do, and then ask my client to tell me what they’re thinking of or going through.

Of course, one call or session isn’t nearly enough to understand my client’s unique struggles, but it’s a good start. I ask questions, prompt them to reply, and challenge them to rethink their beliefs to attain their goals.

The free discovery session is a jumping-off point to a beautiful relationship where I design customized plans for my clients, depending on what it is they’re looking for.

How Can a Life Coach Help?

Now, let’s talk about how life coaching can positively impact your life. When you sign up with a life coach, you should be clear about what you want to get out of the sessions. This applies to almost everything in life. You don’t need to have a crystal-clear idea of where you’re trying to get to because this will be unraveled during sessions, but you must have some understanding of what you’re struggling with.

Think of a life coach like a friend who will challenge your beliefs and introduce you to new perspectives about life. They will also give you powerful insights while encouraging you to achieve your goals.

Life coaching is different from therapy, and this is important to keep in mind. A therapist addresses your past traumas and tries to work with you to overcome them for your current state of mind.

On the other hand, a life coach asks you relevant questions about your current situation in life and provides you with a plan for the future. If you implement this plan, with your coach’s help, of course, you will find yourself with new possibilities and opportunities. A life coach’s plan for you will help you with your future, and they will be there every step of the way.

Here are some of the unique benefits you will get when you sign up with a life coach:

In-depth insights: you will receive powerful insights that will challenge you to rethink how you perceive things around you. These insights can range from overarching ideas to the nitty-gritty that may be ignored in daily life.
A new perspective: you will learn how to retrain your brain and shift your perspective away from negative thinking to positive affirmations and beliefs. We must learn how to take things as they come instead of being volatile and reacting to every setback or obstacle. A positive mindset will only help you on your way to overall growth.
Improved self-esteem: life coaching will allow you to take space and focus on your inner world. There will be things you don’t like about yourself, but you can work on these with your coach and change the game. Once you start achieving your goals, you will start to realize how strong you are and capable of. This will automatically result in better self-esteem as you continue to realize your self-worth.
The ability to embrace change: change can be a scary thing for many people. This is understandable as human beings are creatures of habit, and normal fluctuations can feel catastrophic if you’re not prepared. Working with a life coach will help you embrace and accept change as a part of daily life.
Open to life: once you start focusing on your well-being and self-growth, you will find yourself becoming more open to life and everything it has to offer. I will work with you and help you break out of any beliefs or ideas that limit you. You will feel freer, more positive, and on the lookout for new opportunities. This will allow you to live your life the way you want and not just get through it one day at a time.

Schedule Your Free Discover Session Today!

Other blog posts of interest:

♦ Am I Uncoachable?!
♦ Benefits of Working With Life Coach During COVID
♦ Accountability & Working With A Professional Life Coach
♦ What to Expect: When Working With A Professional Life Coach
♦ Build a Happy Life: 5 Great Benefits of Working with a Life Coach

7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea

June 10, 2019August 12, 2019 ~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

7 (1)

Many people say they want it, but do they really?

I’m talking about…the big “M” word...Marriage

Between all of the princess movies and fairy tales heard countless times growing up, to the sappy romcoms that fill many people’s watch lists on streaming television, many women (and some men) have it imprinted on their psyche from a young age that marriage is the answer. To be fair, marriage is the ultimate intimate relationship. However, it’s not the end all to be all.

Many of my current clients grew up secretly (and some not so secretly) wanting that wonderful prince to sweep them off of their feet. That’s the main reason they decide to hire a relationship coach. With that being said there are many situations I’ve come across with clients that have allowed me to pinpoint the 7 things that I hear most often that are a signal they probably aren’t ready for marriage and their communication in relationships needs serious work.

1. Communication in relationships is a challenge

Does shutting down happen often when frustrated?
Are silence, avoidance and the infamous “cold shoulder” go-to behaviors for handling conflict?
Is spazzing out a part of how anger is handled?

If the answer is yes to any of these questions, then chances are a person may not be ready for marriage. The importance of communication in relationships cannot be underestimated. If a client finds themselves struggling with proper and effective communication in relationships, then they need to take the steps to work on it.

No one else can make them a better communicator and it won’t just “happen”. The decision to hire a relationship coach will help a client become aware of any relationship sabotaging patterns that they have.

During their relationship coaching sessions, a client will also work with the coach to come up with effective strategies to address those patterns (Hint: have no fear of being the uncoachable client). Remember, communication is key in any relationship but especially in the context of an intimate relationship where one person is sharing their space, body, food, finances, and ultimately future with another person.

Some books of interest include:

2. Compromise in intimate relationships seems like defeat

First of all, if a client looks at intimate relationships like a chess match, then they are bound to lose. Compromise in relationships is an important part of any adult relationship period, not just in marriage.

It always baffles me how clients are so open to healthy compromise in work, family, and friendships, but as soon as we start discussing compromise in the context of intimate relationships, they shut down!

Appropriate compromise in relationships is healthy and necessary. Click To Tweet

I usually have to talk clients off the ledge a bit with this one. I explain that they are an adult with their own thoughts, feelings, and outlooks. In their intimate relationship, they are trying to come to a harmonious conclusion with another adult who has their own thoughts, feelings, and outlooks. Inevitably they’re not going to always agree.

Having hesitation and doubts when it comes to compromise usually comes from past hurts. Often those hurts need to be addressed during coaching sessions so a client can let all of that go. Marriage can truly be an uphill battle for those who struggle or refuse to compromise.

If this resonates on any level, journal it. Next, meditate on what the perfect relationship looks like. Let those feelings out about why compromising in relationships is hard (or scary, etc.). What does the interaction look like in a perfect relationship?

3. Have a belief that the person who makes the most money makes the rules

We have all heard the saying “he (she) who makes the gold, makes the rules”.

This does apply to many areas of life but one area that it should not apply to is in a marriage. Healthy intimate relationships need to be built on mutual love, respect, and trust. In marriages where there is only one partner working or one partner is clearly the breadwinner, this should not be used as a reason for treating the other partner as a lesser contributor to the relationship. Communication in relationships about money, support, and contribution are necessary for success. I definitely recommend that you hire a relationship coach if you have issues around money, intimacy, and communication in relationships.

4. Long term commitment is a new frontier

Not to say that every person has had lots of long-term relationships before marriage, but if a client is over 30 and has not been in a long-term committed intimate relationship, we definitely dig deeper. Learning the importance and the how of communication in relationships will keep you from repeatedly stumbling and failing.

There may be deep-rooted resistance, fear or anxiety around intimate relationships that have not been addressed. Deciding to hire a relationship coach will give a person the time and safe space to explore this further.

5. Lingering intimacy issues from past intimate relationships

(This is similar to 4. above but not exactly.)

We all have issues. That’s just part of what makes us human. However, for the purposes of this blog post, I’m talking about those deep fear of intimacy issues that stem from past negative experiences in intimate relationships. These issues prevent a person from fully connecting (mentally, physically, or emotionally) with another. If there is resonance with this subject, then a person’s issues could run the gambit of manageable enough for a professional coach to assist to severe enough for the assistance of a therapist or counselor to be required.

♦For more insights about dating, also read: Are You A Hot Mess At Dating?!

6. Severe indecision about having children

Now, this is not an absolute dealbreaker, but if a person has serious indecision or opposition with their partner about kids…then marriage may not be for them. The reason is simple. Kids take up a huge chunk of time, money, and emotion. If a person is strictly on the opposing side from their partner on the subject, then having (or not having) kids can cause a serious rift in the relationship. When I coach on this topic, I make sure that the client reaches clarity around their decision.

7. The desire for marriage is wrapped up in what others are doing or expect

Marriage is a serious commitment. So if a person is on edge to get married because of other people’s expectation or experience, that’s a definite red flag. Similar to understanding thoughts and feelings around children, I work with clients so they can gain clarity around why they want to get married. If it comes out during a session that it’s because of what someone else wants or what they see other people doing, we stop and do some deep reflection. Questions I ask include:

What’s the end goal?
What’s driving the desire to be married?
How will that commitment look once it’s entered into?

Here are some books that I think can help give any singleton great perspective:

Conclusion:

Marriage is the ultimate commitment but communication in relationships of every kind is important. You need to understand that any serious intimate relationship takes the right:

mindset
attitude
willingness to do the hard work

on the part of all participants. SO…be honest with yourself. Determine if now is the right time for you to be in an intimate relationship. If the answer is no, fix your s&*t and take the steps you need to take to get in the right place to be in such a relationship. Remember, you don’t have to do this work alone! Hire a relationship coach and the two of you can effectively partner to create some very dynamic changes to assist in your communication in relationships.

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