How to Manage the Expectations vs. Reality in Intimate Relationship

intimate relationships - expectations vs. realityEveryone is looking for the ideal relationship. We are constantly receiving messages about what our love life should look like. We’ve created ideal expectations, and we’re disappointed when we don’t fulfill those expectations.

The reality is unlikely the perfect love stories portrayed in the movies. So you may be asking what you can look for in an intimate relationship; and how to know if your relationship is healthy or not?

It is key to know what to hope for in a relationship so you don’t expect unrealistic things from the beginning. Every healthy relationship must have trust, respect, communication, and honesty.

1. Be clear about what you expect in your intimate relationship

There is a famous quote that says:

“If you expect nothing from anybody, you’re never disappointed.”

This is wrong, especially in your intimate relationship. If you don’t know what you want, how would your partner know how to treat you?

If you are the type of people who has low expectations you could end up in a relationship where you’re treated poorly.

You have to be clear about what you expect in your intimate relationship. By having high and realistic expectations you have a good possibility to achieve the kind of love life you desire.

You should expect to be treated with kindness, love, affection, and respect. And should never tolerate any type of abuse.

By expecting these things, you aren’t being unrealistic nor are you expecting that your relationship is free of arguments. Arguing (or rather conscious disagreements) with your partner are not a bad thing!  This it is a great way to solve problems and improve your understanding. The truth is that all relationships will have disagreements and this is not a red flag unless it’s excessive, disrespectful or violent.

2. Understand that communication in a relationship is one of the keys to success

The key to success in a relationship is to have good communication with your partner this is the first step for a healthy relationship. As I mentioned before all couples argue, but if you have high-quality communication you will be able to solve the conflict easier and build a well-built relationship.

The best way to have good communication is to talk clearly without anger, resentment or confusion.

It is important to show empathy to your partner by listening without judgment, and putting aside your feelings and thoughts to try to understand their point of view.

Finally, it’s Ok not to agree to everything, if the issue is not that important it’s alright to let it go. Learn to negotiate. If you want a long, healthy relationship you need to use develop and implement good conflict resolution skills.

3. Do your part to make your intimate relationship for satisfying

If you want a more satisfying, loving relationship there are things you can do to help out.  A great way to improve your intimate relationship is to know exactly what your partner wants and cares about. If you can respect their boundaries you will create an amazing synergy and connection — both physical and emotion.

Don’t be afraid to try new things. Get out of the box. Yes, I know you feel safe in your box, but trying new things can bring you closer. Experiment with alternative things without judging, you may like it.

If you are willing to try new things you will open your mind, build stronger bonds with your partner, and increase your overall satisfaction.


Having unrealistic expectations can interfere with your intimate relationship. To improve this you should have to be clear about what you want, communicate in a clear way to avoid any misunderstandings, and finally do your part to make your intimate relationship more satisfying.

Having a healthy relationship is all about how you and your partner connected, versus a number. So don’t compare your loving relationship with others.
The more emotionally connected you are the more you will be able to enjoy a satisfying intimate relationship. Don’t expect that your relationship will always be easy, and free of conflict if you do you will be disappointed.

If you feel that you and your partner need to improve your intimate relationship, schedule a few sessions with me so we can build a stronger more intimate relationship.

Schedule an Appointment for a Relationship Coaching Session Today!

Other blog posts of interest

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♦ How Are You Finding Your Bliss?
♦ What to Expect: When Working With A Professional Life Coach
♦ 7 Signs That Intimate Relationships Aren’t Your Cup Of Tea
 5 Ways Self-Sabotage Is Stopping You From Reaching Your Goals