Crafting New Year’s Resolutions that Actually Stick!

January 4, 2021January 3, 2021 ~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

The New Year is an exciting time that’s chock-full of fresh possibilities and prospects. It’s no wonder that millions of people all over the world set resolutions for themselves as they go into the next year. A new year is a new chapter, waiting to be filled in with new ideas, habits, and goals. It’s an extremely positive time of the year!

Everyone has different resolutions come December, but what do resolutions represent? Isn’t it also simple to set new habits to follow throughout the year? Well, humans enjoy the notion of fresh starts and the feelings of hope they bring about. Resolutions can vary from the easily achievable to longer, more complicated ones.

Some simple resolutions could be promising to drink more water in the next year or smiling more. More complex ones could be to recognize and remove toxic people from your life or promising to take up therapy and resolve any inner struggles. Speaking of, if you need any help in figuring out which resolutions to adopt, reach out to me and book a free discovery session today!

The Issue with New Year’s Resolutions

So far, so good, right? Resolutions seem to be warm and wonderful things with great transformative powers. Here’s where the issue comes in. resolutions are much easier said than done. Every New Year’s Eve, people craft a bunch of different resolutions but come February, they’ve forgotten all about them.

It’s understandable. New habits aren’t made overnight, and human beings need consistency and time to adjust to novelty. So, how do we create New Year’s resolutions that stick throughout the year instead of till January? Well, you’re about to find out! Keep reading to understand how to embrace this New Year with steadfast resolutions.

How to Craft New Year’s Resolutions that Stick

Step #1: Be crystal clear about what you want to accomplish

This is the jumping-off point for the whole discussion. It’s important to know what you want to achieve and make a list of your priorities.

One of the best ways to ascertain your current goals is to work with a life coach. Life coaching is essential for almost any phase of your life, and it’s not just limited to an active emotional struggle. Once you sign up with a life coach, you can open up about your concerns and kick-start your journey towards self-awareness and self-fulfillment.

A good life coach will work closely with you to understand what’s going on in your life. When I take on clients, I reassure them with the knowledge that I will create a customized plan for them to follow so they can accomplish any of their personal goals.

Life coaching will allow you to list down all the things you want to work on, be it self-growth or building self-esteem. You will get a personalized strategy that you can then use to make sure you stick to the resolutions that you will draft. It’s a win-win situation!

If you’re eager to explore your upcoming resolutions, book your first free discovery session with me today. It’s that easy!

Step #2: Look at where you are right now

The way I see it, any sort of growth or progress starts when you can truly accept your current state. A lot of people live in denial about what are deemed to be ‘negative’ aspects such as flaws or insecurities. You have to understand that these are all part of human nature and where there is goodness, there may also be some negative traits.

Just because you have insecurities or flaws, don’t feel like you’re a bad person. You’re not a one-dimensional being, and it’s only when you accept this truth that you will be ready to start working on yourself.

Be open to writing down the things you feel you need to fix, be it a short or long list. You can also discuss these items with me during a free discovery session, and we can work out the feasibility of achieving your goals. You will find a lot of instant inner peace once you get your worries out into the open because you can then start to dispel them.

Step #3: Draft a feasible plan

This is where it all leads. Once you’ve followed the preceding steps, you can get to the good stuff, which is creating a plan that you can work with. This is your final list of New Year’s resolutions and your strategy of how to accomplish them.

This step will be a lot easier if you do it with a life coach. For example, let’s say you want to be healthier and overcome self-sabotage in the next year. When you discuss this with me, we will lay down a series of steps that will teach you to overcome the problem in manageable ways. Self-sabotage is a tricky thing to navigate, so we will begin by determining where the feeling is coming from and what motivations you have.

Then we will continue to write down tiny steps such as countering negative thoughts or reaching out to a friend or family member with clearer communication and therefore keep fighting the issue. You will see that these small steps will eventually lead you to conquer a larger issue, and you will have a sizeable goal to check off from your New Year’s resolutions list.

Bonus Tip: Reach out to your support system

A great way to keep yourself on track is not only to make a promise to yourself but to make it to the people around you too. You can pick a couple of friends or family members and show them the plan you’re working on to achieve your resolutions. Once you do this, you will find a sense of responsibility, and you will feel accountable to someone other than yourself. This can be a very positive and uplifting feeling and the more tasks you check off of your list, the better you will feel.

Schedule Your Free Discovery Session Today!

Other blog posts of interest:

♦ Learning How to Shift Your Perspective
♦ How to Give Yourself Permission to Want More
♦ How to Stop Procrastinating…One Step at A Time
♦ The Secret To Creating A Lasting Morning Workout Routine
♦ 5 Ways Self-Sabotage Is Stopping You From Reaching Your Goals

What to Expect: When Working With A Professional Life Coach

June 27, 2019July 13, 2019 ~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

Understand the role of a life coach

On the home page of my website, I try to give any prospective clients a clear picture of what a life coach does. We aren’t counselors, therapists, psychologists, or teachers. The goal is to be clear upfront so there aren’t any unrealistic expectations. Human nature dictates that when we go to a professional for help, that they are going to give us the answers.

That is not how coaching works.

A professional life coach doesn’t give you the answer. What we do is partner with you to come up with the best solutions for you. You know yourself better than anyone else, a professional life coach helps you to uncover those best solutions by asking powerful questions.

♦ Ready to partner with someone who will help to make lasting changes in your life? Then schedule a Discovery Session with one of our professional life coaches today!

Expect to be held accountable

Yourdictionary.com defines accountability (noun) as “taking or being assigned responsibility for something that you have done or something you are supposed to do”.

A professional life coach is not your parent, your boss, or your warden. What we are is an accountability partner who will help you stay on track with your goals. Accountability is one of the main reasons that I’ve seen for why clients don’t reach their goals. Getting unstuck is a very common goal of many clients when they first work with a professional coach. Once they get past being stuck, then it’s time to move toward their actual goals.

A professional life coach is not your parent, your boss, or your warden. Click To Tweet

Expect to be challenged

Don’t let the word “challenge” scare you. The way in which a professional life coach challenges you is always three things:

positive,
approachable, and
respectful.

What we do is challenge any current negative or non-productive beliefs that you have. These beliefs can be about yourself or a particular situation. The goal is to stretch your current beliefs or energy past your current situation and perceived limitations.

Don’t believe you can get a better job? What about that belief is contributing to your current situation? Or Don’t believe you have any self-control when it comes to food? How has that belief contributed to your current habits? Getting to the core of those thoughts and beliefs is an important part of your success. You live your life from a point of those thoughts and beliefs.

You live your life from a point of your thoughts and beliefs so make sure they are positive. Click To Tweet

Conclusion

If you want to experience change, a professional life coach has the job of partnering with you to effectively challenge and confront limiting or self-sabotaging thoughts, beliefs, and behaviors. They aren’t propelling you towards your success. Making changes and progress can be hard and won’t happen overnight. However, you don’t have to do it alone. If you’re ready and sincere, start working with a professional life coach today!

So what are your feelings about working with a professional life coach? Do you think it’s a good fit for you and your situation? Let me know!

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Some other blog posts of interest:

♦ Accountability & Working With A Professional Life Coach

♦ Am I Uncoachable?!

♦ 3 Steps to Getting Unstuck

♦ Secret Reasons Why Professional Coaches Are NOT Calling You Back

♦ Overcoming Self-Sabotage: 3 Steps to Take Today

5 Ways Self-Sabotage Is Stopping You From Reaching Your Goals

June 25, 2019June 25, 2019 ~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

You wake up every morning feeling nervous, conflicted, exhilarated, defeated…like you’re ready to take the leap, but then totally unsure.

Does this sound like you?

If so, then you probably have some deeply ingrained habits that are working against you. In my blog post about getting unstuck I talk about how to create space. However, when coaching clients, I’ve found one of the most effective approaches to confront self-sabotage is by asking the classic “w” questions:

Who
What
Where
When
Why

Let’s start at the top!

Self-Sabotage Block #1: You don’t know who you want to be

Self-sabotage starts with you engaging in thoughts and behaviors that purposefully (even if sub-consciously) block your progress. First things first. Define who you want to be. Understand who the future version of you is and who you serve. Ending self-sabotage also requires an understanding of who you are at the present moment. Who do you serve now? Some books that I recommend to jump-start your thinking about self-sabotage:

Self-Sabotage Block #2: You don’t know what you want to accomplish

Self-sabotage is something that is often rooted in fear. This is especially true if you haven’t decided what you want to accomplish as your end goal. Fear can come from a place of being stuck. So getting unstuck is very important in order for you to move forward. Another source of fear that I often hear about from my coaching clients is fear of success. When I work with clients as a success coach, many who have tried any venture have already experienced failure in some way, form or fashion.

So that isn’t the problem. The problem comes when those clients figure out a new working approach to their path to success and they begin to sabotage themselves because they have an unconscious fear of success! Get clear on what you want to accomplish and focus on clearing your energy/mental blocks around them. A book that I think is very useful in working through fears is The Fear Workbook: How to Stop Procrastination, Self-Sabotage, and Fear from Stealing Your Dream Goals

Self-Sabotage Block #3: You don’t know where you want to be

Can you answer that question? Seriously, can you clearly identify where you want to be in terms of geographical location and place in life at the point you reach success?

This is an important one and is necessary (as all the questions are) to give clarity to your vision of success. Figure that out as quickly as possible. Even if at first that vision is not completely clear. Here are some questions to get you started:

Do you want to live in a tropical location, have a loving partner, 2 kids, and a dog?
Do you want to be in a lovely French villa hosting meditation retreats with a plethora of wildlife around you?

Some books that I recommend to better understand where you want to be are:

Self-Sabotage Block #4: You don’t know when you want to reach your goals

Do you have timelines in mind to meet your goals? If not, get some! This means you need to take all of that negative mental chatter that’s been contributing to your self-sabotage and turn it off.

Start with the end in mind.

Do you want to meet one of your major goals in 6 months? 12 months? 18 months? 3 years? An important first step is to lay out each of your major goals and then map it to a timeframe of when you plan on reaching that goal.

This will help your mind to become geared towards the solution if bridging the gap between where you are and where you want to be.

Self-Sabotage Block #5: You don’t know why you’re going in circles

This is the most abstract question of them all. I don’t want you to dwell on this for too long but it’s worth some self-reflection. When you take a step back and really look at all of your patterns or behaviors of self-sabotage, close your eyes, take some deep breaths and ask “why”. Trust whatever answer comes to mind because it’s the beginning of uncovering a deeper answer.

For example, a failure from 5 years ago could be the main contributing factor as to why you are engaging in self-sabotaging behaviors today. Fear of failure. Fear of rejection. Fear of change. Fear of the unknown. These are all common reasons as to why self-sabotaging behaviors run rampant and unchecked in your life today. A very interesting book on understanding the why is Why Do I Do That?: Psychological Defense Mechanisms and the Hidden Ways They Shape Our Lives

So what are some of your self-sabotaging patterns and behaviors? Have you identified them? What are you doing to overcome them?

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Overcoming Self-Sabotage: 3 Steps to Take Today

June 18, 2019July 29, 2019 ~ viewslifecoaching ~ Leave a comment

Yourdictionary.com defines self-sabotage as:
(Noun) The sabotaging, whether consciously or subconsciously, of oneself;
(Verb) To sabotage oneself or one’s own plans.

Self-sabotage sucks and the worst part about it is that many times people don't even recognize it in their lives! Click To Tweet

Self-sabotage sucks and the worst part about it is that many times people don’t even recognize it in their lives! This is something that happens often when I work with coaching clients. They feel stuck (read: 3 Steps to Getting Unstuck), they feel confused, and often they feel a great deal of anger towards themselves. Below are a few tidbits of wisdom that have come out of my coaching sessions around what is helpful for clients to overcome self-sabotage.

Admit that self-sabotage is occurring

The first step to solving a problem is admitting that it exists. Self-sabotage may be hard to spot. Or a person may simply be in denial. However, once the realization occurs, it’s time to take action. Though it is hard to admit to self, it can actually be addressed once it is. Work with a professional coach and get to the admission stage faster! Here are some great books on recognizing self-sabotage that I have coached on with clients:

Understand what the self-sabotaging patterns look like

Once a person has recognized that self-sabotage is a serious and real part of what’s derailing their progress, it’s time to look inside. Figure out what those patterns look like that aren’t useful. Jot down what that looks like. For example, say someone is trying to lose weight but they can’t seem to stick to their diet for more than a few days at a time before eating junk.

This is the time to reflect. A person should ask themselves when they seem to be most tempted to eat junk. What type of junk do they crave when they fall off of the wagon. What times of the day/week/month do cravings for junk strike most frequently. The answers to these questions provide powerful insights into what is really going on behind the self-sabotaging behaviors. Some cool books I’ve coached on with clients around identifying such patterns include:

Make a plan to address self-sabotaging behaviors…one at a time

We’ve all heard the saying that Rome wasn’t built in a day. The same goes for overcoming self-sabotage. Any person who has admitted and taken the time to do a little internal digging is ready for the next step. That step is to make a plan. But wait! This plan should be simple and straightforward. This means only one self-sabotaging pattern of behavior should be addressed at a time.

Let’s look at the previous example. For the person who is struggling with sticking to their diet, they have discovered they eat junk mostly after work on Wednesdays through Fridays. Ok, that’s telling. In this example, they need to examine what’s going on before the junk food fest occurs that triggers the event.

I’ve actually coached several clients in similar situations. The underlying factor was stress. Work stress increased after work as the week progressed. Each client came up with a different solution that worked for them. Decompression before leaving the office could work. Eating a snack before leaving the office is another possibility. Some books that clients have found useful in this action step of addressing self-sabotage include:

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Tag: self-sabotage